Mumbo jumbo >>>>> about the past ... Mumbo jumbo
I think what hurts me most is that when I was feeling bad and nobody supported me. That day was no more and only because a friend has cried does not mean I was crying about, just means I feel bad. They said they would put a lot of color ... but ... a lot of color ... What about? If you never said why he was crying! I never said it because nobody took the time to sit with me to talk, because they assumed that I was crying because my friend was crying and I had not told why. Please, who would cry about that? indeed, even I, who am weeping, cry for a thing. I might have felt last to wear because I wanted to say, but that never going to make me mourn, that stupid reason, I still do not understand why it took ... this is what bothers me, that I depended on them, I needed someone and no one took the time to listen and I ... I pucha ... I give myself the time to listen to all their problems, give advice pie to all y. .. GODDAMIT! I'm a good friend !!...¿ why nobody wanted to hear? ... A friend listens to you, a friend is concerned, it hosts a friend you when you cry you cry and ask why not assume anything, you only comfort, but your reasons are very stupid. A friend hugs you when you cry and you wonder what happens .... do not get angry if you say you do not want to talk about it, just hugs you ...
What makes me mad is that no will never understand how much it hurt me what happened. I felt bad for weeks that I felt bad, and none of my friends noticed. Ok, I stand because I can be very deceptive with appearances (though just waiting for someone to notice something at least). I hold, I suffered quietly, until I could not help. He concurred with my friend, I know ... but that was my day to mourn, or no longer take it anymore. Even my classmates who are not my closest friends consoled me, but my friends do not. Do not care of course, is, I think even gave them something to talk about. Is what they said about me after that was doing a "scandal" ... of course, because we all know that to me there is nothing I like more than to shock and all I watch and listen (note the sarcasm in this sentence). After many years of knowledge should know that something is charging me mourn in front of the rest, I feel weak, I feel exposed ... so never cried in front of anyone (maybe my mom max lol). They should also know that if I do not like mourn and cry and that day was because it really needed it. Damn, I support them in all, heard all. God knows my reason to mourn was much stronger than some of my friends and I felt bad ... but they never knew. To this day ignored how much I hurt, and do not pretend to know either. I talk about this bad, especially when I do it face to face with someone. The only positive I take from this is that I learned that at any minute people will stab in the back. They had no compassion, they had no problem in saying I was doing the most stupid scandal ... all this is saying that by the scandal but never said what ... because you never knew ... because they never bothered to ask ... they drew their conclusions by without even asking me why I was crying I felt like shit and that shit was over ...
I think, as a last thought on her topic before I get to mourn, what hurt me most is that I cried because I was lonely ... and that same day when nobody was crying about it and comforted me I realized he was right ... I'm alone, I have no one to support me. I mean, I thought I had it, but that moment helped me to know that no matter how friendly it is for my friends ... I can not have them. I can not. It may sound exaggerated, but nobody knows how I felt at that moment, nobody. I cried so much that day ... I choked with anguish. Now I understand why the entimientos portrayed with heart, because when you feel anxiety and pain in chest, like something is awry, like something you prick constantly there. I felt so alone that day ... had retained that feeling for weeks, and when it finally exploded ... I realized ... that really was alone ...
I think it's safe to say that where I live and my school does not find my best friend ever, a good and honest friend ... I'll have to wait for college.
I remembered this while I argued with my mom about my friends and the topic came out of nowhere. Every so often I remember and I'm angry with my friends ... but ... last issue, I agree and so I decided not to tell anything very private from now on. So Barbara, you never tell me my stuff when you complain, you tell me everything and I nothing, so do not trust much on people, because I knew that things as those passed ...
is safe to say that my only friends "intimate" are J. Fco and Ricardo ... I am sure none of them desilucionaria me. At least that Jose Rcardo ... does not yet put to the test (get ready ... Jose Muajajajajajaaaaaaa)
Now I'm all depressed ... but hey, I needed to say ... leave it "out there" ...
As for my friends ... could not care less ...
No matter, the still love you, I just hope that (if you have ever come to read it) understand how bad it made me feel I needed their support and how much it meant to me that day to share my pain with you .. . but or you were not there ... (I remember a certain Mr. Richi situation that I was bad ... again, my public apologies)
the estimated Still ... ... but do not expect you to trust my stuff ...
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